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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries.

	2008.02.05  02.35 rambling It’s so crazy that all these people feed on other peoples emotions …. That you could be in the best mood and then you hang out with somebody and they can drag you down and you have no reason to be upset but you still are … its all kinds of super Gay !!!!!!!!!! Men are a sad excuse of existence …. Not all me don’t get me wrong … there are a few handful of men that give the race a chance … But men talk so much shit and they don’t even know what there talking about … I miss toughs days when you where a little kid and you had no clue what sex, love, relationships or any of that junk is … when boys and girls could craw in and out of each others window and just hang out .. Or play in a sandbox and build sand castles and it would be the coolest thing … or when you could sit with your friends and watch movies and have pillow fights …. And nobody had any problems except fighting over what power ranger that they want to bee… (heee hee ) When you play truth and dare and dance around to spice girls and got into pillow fights …. And laughed and laughed … then one of your friends start to like a boy and it goes all down hill from there Well I really don’t know where im going with this but hummmmm …. Bye

	2007.12.06  17.05 p great grandma past away that super sad im in illinois 12 hour drive with grandpa and my mom with no music that sucked but it i get to c my fam so dats cool

	2007.12.06  16.59 Posted using TxtLJ (p)

	2007.12.06  16.44 Posted using TxtLJ POST

	2007.10.16  22.56 THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO LIVE MY LIFE IM so stressed out its killing me !!!!! I just want to scream and I feel like I have no body to go to… I moved back home and now I’m living in BFE its beautiful out here don’t get me wrong and it’s a nice place to live, I love being close to my mom and robin , but I feel so secluded … I MISSS MY FRIENDS!!! NOT all of them but most of them.,…. I have been looking for a job for over 6 months now and I cant find one MICHIGAN’S economy sucks!! All my bills are over 2 months late now and I have never EVER been late on paying my bills … I don’t have my licenses, I’m not in college … I feel like a bum and I cant do anything until I find a job… I’m almost 2,000 dollars in debt and I know that may not seem like much to most but for me its way to much… I cant help but feel like I want to cry all the time…. I really want to move back to Waterford or Pontiac , auburn hills area, I was hopping by June but it never seems like it is going to happen . Every time I go to visit amber and my friend I’m so happy and I feel like anything is possible , but as soon as I get back here I feel like nothing is right. I don’t get it ! I really don’t ! when I was living in Illinois I found a lot of jobs I was working 2 there for a bit .. I never worried about money or bills or feeding my pets … My mom and robin have been feeding me and them and paying my phone bill, that makes me feel like crap I don’t want people doing it for me … there are only like 6 place’s around here to put in job applications and I but in app’s at all of them and I have not gotten a call back nobody is harrying and every day I get further in debt … THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO LIVE MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know what I want to be … I know where I want to live … I know that I’m truly not happy …. I want to be back home by my family and my friends … I have learned a lot sense I graduated from high school . More then I ever learned sitting in a class room … now I all feel is this over whelming pain all the time…. I’m so lost and scared ! My back hurts so bad most of the time… its getting worse and because I cant afford insurance so I cant go to the doctor . I have a tooth ach like every day … my eyes are getting bad , because its been over a year sense I have had them checked … Toby and Abby keep getting flea’s and robin has spent so much money trying to get rid of them pill’s , shampoos , drops and nothing is working …. He doesn’t even by the cheep stuff either …. Toby has been acting up and I get the wrath from it and I feel so bad I don’t know what to do ….. I wish I don’t even know what any more …………. All I know is that THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO LIVE MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	2007.10.10  02.38 help OKay i really want to wear one of these for halloween my only problem is that i can not afford to buy one so i have to make it on my own by hand ... does any body have any ideal how to make theses the one with the hat and the apron is the one that i really want because its long sleeves and the partying im going to is out side ...... some one please help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mood: creative

	2007.09.10  12.03 missie THIS IS MY FIRST TATTOO IM GETTING ANOTHER ONE SOON

	2007.08.31  01.01 all there is to me to type and let people know ( but we all know theres so much more) >^..^ Hey Ya’ll My name is Sarah !! I’M 19 years old I live in a small water front town called Marine City. I love it when it rains * I’m going to be a freelance photographer when I “grow up” … . * Tattoo’s are HOTT!! * I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister. * I’m quiet to a point, but I can also be very out spoken as any one who knows me can tell you… !I speak my mind, I really try no to offend anyone but if I do I cant help it! If you ask for my opinion be ready to hear the truth. I love animals *********** . I love the snap of a camera and the flash of the feature. I like to go places I have never been and eventually would love to make a career out of it. I love the way you can always dream finding the end of a rainbow but never find it, but always seem one step closer to finding it. (PICTURE TAKEN BY SARAH NASH) I love how when you watch a movie whether it’s the 1st time or the 100th time you can always seem to sink right into the story! I think first kisses can tell a million things. I believe that if you have never had your heart broken you need to go out every once in a while. Every one should have that heart braking 1st love and dream of romance. I believe that a song and touch you in places nothing else can touch you. I believe that if you cry in the rain your not really crying your playing a party, I think every one should dance till you can dance anymore, (no matter how bad you think you are at it). I believe in god! I believe that’s you have the right to sing as loud as you want to. I want to cry so I cry and I’m not scared of anyone seeing me. I have huge dreams and I plan on accomplishing everyone of them. I have a list of things I want to do before I die, I want to fish them. I watch Black and White movies and enjoy them better then new movies! I listen to every type of music. (PICTURE TAKEN BY SARAH NASH ) I have a wonderful bunch of friends and I would not trade them for anything in the world!! Tom - your awesome your always there for me when I need a shoulder , and a kick in the ass I love you!!! (PICTURE TAKEN BY SARAH NASH ) Amber -your like a sister to me. Chelsea - you are my sister and I love you more then the sun rise. Jordan - you’re my brother and a pain but I love you anyways . Jeremy- you f*ing rock !!! Connor - we have been buds forever you’re the best Ashley - we have been buds sense elementary you were cool then and your cooler now …. To all I did not add I love you too I just don’t feel like writing more now….. (PICTURE TAKEN BY SARAH) NASH When you look into the sky do you feel like you can fly? When I was younger He- He and older He-He I would make pictures out of the clouds . I love to paint with my fingers and roll in the grass. ( PICTURE TAKEN BY SARAH NASH ) I love crawling on the floor with my puppy . I love to cuddle with my kitten (PICTURE TAKEN BY SARAH NASH ) . I love the sound of children playing and giggling. I love weird names. I love people and hearing them talk. I love smells .. I love the 1st day of fall , the first time you look into some body’s eyes. So as you can tell I love lost of things …. But who shouldn’t this world is full of things to love. ……

	2007.08.08  20.25 Running mascara To find a dream maybe somthing for others but her dreams are somthing to her she can feel her inside cring deep down inside of her with teared filled eyes mascara starting to smear taking one look at who she used to be one blue eye and one green just avrage girl left at the sean she does not know about you but her dreams mean somthing to her it starts to rain she swings open the door excaping from everything she'd ever known with tearfull eyes mascara begging to run she take one step then begins to run running from everything away from her past twards the the feature not knowing how long it will last with only one question to ask oh how long does it take to hide the girl always picked last the girl that ran away so far from her past oh how long does it take to run away from the things that never last she does'nt know about you're dreams but her dreams mean somthing to her the rain has stop and stoped her in her tracks as she looks the the ski and say's good bye to to the girl always picked last good bye to the rain and finally good bye to her past sarah

	2006.12.09  01.32 just an update Ello loves: I know that it has been a while sense I have written, but there are reasons. I have moved down to IL. I love it here it easier and it is not even that it like I’m meant to be here or something. Richie and I are doing great! He is so wonderful. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!! Lol I have a job at a gas station called CASEY’S its really kind of okay I guess lol I make pizza and other foods, plus stock and clean up. It is not very good money but it is a start till I can get up on my feet you know? Ritchie’s family has been super sweet and supportive of me… I wake up every morning not wishing for the days to go by so fast anymore and every night when Richie get home form work its like meting him for the first time all over again. I still get butterflies!!!!! I am coming home for x mas but Richie is coming with me… were driving up on x Mas eve and we’ll be in Michigan about 8am then were leaving again x Mas day to come back to Illinois. I love ya’ll and I hope ya’ll are doing good P.s Missie I just really wanted to hear your voice the last time I called… Your text message to my phone hurt me Sweet dreams Good mornings And a bunch of kiss Sent with love From Bakergirl1o

	2006.10.25  03.34 I D K i think that im in love.... do you really think that people could fall in love in under a year u think im in love with richie .... humm yeah thats what i think !!!!!!!!!!!!

	2006.10.20  14.40 hellll yes 1st i ate doughnuts for ya'll ! 2nd richie is going to be here  tomarrow at 9-11 depending on traffic YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAY!!!!

	2006.10.13  20.43 i dotn know what it is i cant explain it i feel like there is somthing missing like a peice of a puzzle and my heart feels so heavy and my mind just stoped trying i dont know i feel kinda erratated i dont know right now writing this just seems pointless to all good night and sweet wishes !!! im sorry to everyone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mood: crushed

	2006.09.25  02.26 AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH JUST NEED TO SCRAM i dont like this workd no more why does everyone have to die im losing everyone. 4 friends in 1 year thats not cool my heart is broken Mood: sad

	2006.09.20  02.53 THE STORY OF ME !!!!!!! September 20, 2006 THE STORY OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend, a hero, a best friend, a student, a graduate, a giveruper, I’m a druggy, alcoholic, suicidal, lonely even over whelmed, creative, caring, giving, some times selfish. I have love and I have lost it. I have cried, and I have screamed, lost my cool and even taken it out on others. I have a hole a really big whole. My life has been a constant battle with myself, sometimes seeming like there was more then one of me floating around inside. Days would go by to were I could just sit alone in dark rooms with nothing but a notebook and some really scary thoughts. I have ripped the skin from my arm, trying to decrease the pain inside by giving myself a reason to not think of the whole I created deep with in the wall of me. Let me begin here… my name … a name given by my mother. You can always count on a name. You say it and people know whom your talking to. As for me my name just so happens to be Sarah. In the few years I have lived my life I could honestly say that my life has felt like 30. Don’t get me wrong people have had worse, scarier, and even more hurtful life’s then I, But I need to tell my story. My parents have been devoiced sense I was 3 years old I don’t really know how all that went, because I was to young to remember, but I do remember this feeling that I could not deny. This feeling that thing would not be perfect in my life. From my dads actions I, have always felt unwanted, unloved, unneeded, I never got to be a daddy’s girl and that really hurt me. My mom is a wonderful woman but she has had a lot on her plate. She loves me and I love her. Now that I am older I can see that them getting there devoice was probably the best thing that has happened to my brother and I. I have realized that as much as it hurts, tares me down out and apart, I would not go back not for one second and change 1 thing about my life no matter how tragic the moment it has made me, me. The tragic parts in my life have helped me push myself even harder at that time anything probably could have. My dreams have always felt so small or way too big, but I have always found a way to give up or to over whelm myself. TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	2006.09.20  01.02 QUIT DIEING WHY WHY WHY WHY do they all have to die im so sick and tired of my friends dieing i mean i knew them all in diffrent was so better then others but i love them all just the same i feel a part of me is fadding away god bless and i never forget the love

	2006.09.10  00.49 tearfilled eyes I sitting here kinda really upset wrok really sucked today and i need 500 dollers to get my car and the money im suposed to be getting from my gradparents i caknt touch till december and i need a car to get to school because now i live far from school i have been in tears all day and i just cant stop myself from crying i went to randys grave site the other day with matt and i wanted to cry and talk to him but i just couldn't do it in front of matt. some times it is still really hard to come to reality that he is gone. i miss him so much and some time it feels like talking to other people about what im feeling is pointless because nobody but him can truly understand. right now im watching home videos of him and my uncle brian singing its getting really hard for me im so sick and tired of being sick and tired you cant talk to my mom because nobody can possibly have as much problems as she does and call my dad is just a waist in all around im so angry and sad i dont know how to stop this pain in my heart. well richie is calling so im going to get off here love and tender care xoxalwaysxox bakergirl10

	2006.09.08  03.06 RIchie so this guy he is really sweet and kind and im scared because i think im going to fall for him to me this is really scary but i think this time i will give him a chance maybe i can have a feature with sombody instead of letting tom run my life still i love the thought of having someone there that i know is just a phone call away i just cant wait to kiss his lips for the first time it is really scary because now that i am older the choice that i make in my life i could marry the next guy i hold in my arms for all i know im scared and trying not to push away the thought oh happyness i will now have to try to dig out that are stil in my brain i not going to let tom control me any more he has been away for over a yr now and yet it still seems like he is in my head makeing my choices but not any more richie has help me see that it is okay to care about sombody again and im not going to let me run away because that is what im good at but i see me in you .... i dono anyways sweet dreams nighty night journal worl untill next time XOXalwaysXOX bakergirl1o

	2006.09.07  03.08 mind wondering Working at Ginos has been an experance to remember forever. its nuts there some times, but it has a homie feeling to it to. well anyways i meat this guy and he makes me really happy!!! i talk to him every day hours at a time. he is one of the sweetest guys i have ever met in my life he makes me smile and when im sad he makes my day better, i love talking to him it just really sucks because he lives kinda far away. school is starting soon im kinda nurveious to start college here soon, but ill be okay i always am i got my books the other day and they look hard really hard its nuts how you think you have it all figgured out untill you open your eyes and relize maybe you were not ready to do the things you now have no choice but to do them... well its getting kinda late and i have to go to bed so i will journal a little bit more latter my loves , sweet dreams and good nights xoxalwaysxox bakergirl10

	2006.08.27  17.02 Sometimes the thoughts in my head become to hard to understand. I don’t really know how to express myself in words explaining things to people. Well I can write them out… I feel like pieces of me are dieing and I can’t save myself. Have you ever felt this huge pressure feeling like its pushing you down, making you feel like you have no were to go. Trapped in a place that has neither a beginning nor end. Rather then saving your self, you have become paralyzed by your thoughts. Eventually till you don’t know were you end or begin. Some times this feeling takes me over putting thoughts in my head that I know are not my own. The thoughts are not to the point of hurting others. Being kicked out has helped me see the things in life that I took for granted. Although moving and starting all over again really kicks me down a few levels, I believe that I will be able to bring myself back. Some times thinking of all I have done this summer put curiosity, would I do it again? Yes, is all I can think to say to myself, everything I have done this summer has been the best, yes it cost me a lot, but it also taught me a lot. Time is all we have and if we regret time then what are we living for. This guy once told me, “ living life is making memories” I know I believe that we all have to believe in ourselves and remember that when you take a step back it just means that in a little bit of time you can take a leap forward. You may not believe my views on life and I don’t expect you too, but we all have a right to our own opinions. Life throws so many different paths in our ways and I think there are parts of all of us that want to travel each paths. So then there are some people that fallow the path that’s straight and does not twist some would say the path of righteousness its paved there are no cracks and it’s a smooth ride. Then there are the people that get a little risky that want a little adventure in there life’s so they travel a path that has detours and maybe a little bit of bumps, dead ends and dirt roads. The thing is you have to realize that weather you take path A or path B, both paths hold people. People just like you and I and who are we to judge.